Sometimes I get mad that all I do is breathe, eat, and sleep work. But then, all I have to do is look at Owen and he tells me that I'm his best friend and he gets this big smile and tells me we should go shopping. Or he asks if its light outside and can we go to the park?
Sometimes I get discouraged when a nasty customer complains or leaves negative feedback in my shop; Can't you see I'm trying people! I will fix it. But then, Kent comes home and gives Owen a big hug and kiss and smiles at me. Then I get my own hug and kiss and forget about work for an hour or two as we make dinner, talk about Owen and Joel, and help each other around the house.
Most the time I get embarrassed that I wear old scroungy clothes, chipped nail polish, glasses and don't answer the door when someone knocks. Hey, its probably a sales person or a girl scout or visiting teachers or someone else from church. Oops. But then, all I have to do is remind myself that this is just my season to work and contribute to my family. That I don't need to spend money on myself or wear cute clothes at home when they will just get paint and dust on them. I can smile when I hear the cha-ching sound of a sale and how I have made something that is a little too successful and one day I can slow down and do it part-time.
Sometimes I get sad when I go to a Relief Society planning meeting (they rope me in because I never go to the activities voluntarily) and the ladies are all chummy with each other in their clean house and shared experiences. Or when I force myself to ask if the chair is taken by one of the ladies in RS and they smile but share thier hymn book with the lady to the right of them. But then, I get to go pick up Owen and the teacher tells me how adorable he is and as he tells her thank you, she puts her hand on her heart and says: How precious! I smile inside and out and make sure I tell Kent two times, because those two boys are my best friends and they like to sit by me and we have shared many wonderful experiences together.
Sometimes I am humbled when I think about what great health and love we share as a family and extended family. I am humbled when I think about the good times I share with Owen and Kent and the Barnes and Stringham families. And then I get excited to think about holidays, weddings, summer and new babies! Then, I can be happy even though things aren't perfect. Then I can be happy for what is accomplished each day and I can look forward, but not pine, for new seasons and new oppourtunities to experience trials and joys.
7 comments:
If I have learned anything working in Costumer Service jobs is that everyone can sit on a pin cushions if they want to get bent out of shape. I hate getting negative feedback. I feel your pain! You need a break to Alaska before we come home:) Ive ALWAYS looked up to! ALWAYS. I highly valued your opinion and experience. You are super thoughtful and will bend over backwards for everyone! We will make the pillow shop big, easy, and fun real soon! making a 'living' is not the same thins as making a 'life'. I love Owen so much! I think of him as a tender mercy for our loving Heavenly Father to help you at this time to get through it all. Soon Kent will be out of school and we can have play dates together!! hee hee You both are amazing and perfect examples of enduring to the end. Im right behind you both! WOOT WOOT
Sorry for the story.
The End.
Kambria I love this post : ) I love being reminded that everything in life has a season and will not last forever (I have a hard time grasping that concept). Just so you know, I think Kraig might be your number one fan! He is so amazed with your shop. He is always talking about how impressed he is with it and wondering how you made it so successful and how you can manage so much and do it so well. He talks about how much work the packaging and shipping alone would be and how organized someone would have to be to run the whole thing. Not just anyone can do that, I know because I tried and bombed it haha. But it was fun to make stuff! I bet Owen is the star in nursery because he is so, so, so polite. He asks so quietly and nicely for things and plays so well with other kids. Lily loves him : ) What are your plans for kami’s wedding? Will you guys get to stay for long?
Kambria you are amazing and talented. I am proud of you for all that you work so hard at. I would clean your house in a heartbeat if I thought you would let me. Family is REALLY all that matters. I am so greatful that we have the BEST!! We are so blessed. I love you an Owen an Kent too!!
So maybe DAD shouldn't jump in and comment right now, cause even now at my age, I sometimes feel the same way. I just - texted - mom today and told her she is the one that makes me complete, so glad I found her and that I know she loves me. OUR Family also, makes me proud, we each have our package of trials to go through, I still seem to open up one that I can't figure out - why me, why now, I can't do this any longer. But I hope to learn from it and only have to turn to those around me to find help an answers and PRAYERS. I Love Ya Jo and am proud of you - and will always be here if you need to talk, might give my opinion once in a while which you may not want, but I DO UNDERSTAND.
Love ya, thanks for sharing.
All I can say is you are a STRONG lady. You have so much you can impart to your growing family. You ALWAYS are willing and sometimes do, help others. You want to fix everyone's problems because you care and aren't self involved. I don't know why I felt so guilty reading your post. I did. I know that is not what you had in mind.
I can relate to you on the RS thing. I'm such a recluse dying to be a party girl. Well not that far but at least not so socially awkward.
I agree there is a season to things and it is focusing on the moments. Inhavebto do that and document it so that I don't feel like crap. I can look back and say hey! I did feed my kids....I love you.
I hope you know how much I look up to you Kambria. You are always trying to help people and are so selfless. I have a hard time getting ready as well since I just stay home everyday. I know how you feel with Relief Society and how hard it can be to make friends. You are a strong smart woman and not everyone can do what you do, I know I couldn't. Thank you for the reminder to cherish this season of life soon my children won't want to cuddle. I love you, Kent, and Owen. you are all such good examples. please call me if you ever want to talk.
May I ask who Joel is? he he
Guess it's my turn to say something huh? :) I love you Kambria! You're an amazing older sister who is always helpful to me and shares my love of books :) You're like me, I never answer the door because I don't go anywhere during the day so I look gross and I don't know everyone around here and I'm not in the mood to chat haha. You, Kent, and Owen are awesome and I can't wait to meet Joel. Love you guys!
Post a Comment